Humor In Corruption: Speed Money And The Honesty Dilemma!

Somewhere in India.  In a small nondescript town two friends are sorting out issues. 
Friend 1: “Hi buddy! ...You seem to be in a bit of a worry. What happened?” 

Friend 2: “Well, a debate is raging within me…You know I told you about my land settlement issue. Job is almost done except for one last document. And the concerned official is asking for ‘speed’ money to expedite it quickly…”

Friend 1: Ha! Speed money? The legalized term for a plain simple bribe? 

Friend 2: “I don’t really know. People nowadays hardly have enough time for odd jobs. But these have to be done too. I’m told people readily pay ‘speed’ money to save precious time. …Anyway, my predicament is not actually that. Something else is disturbing me…”

Friend 1: “You mean to say you are ready to pay bribes! How could you be so immune to the anti-corruption wave going on around?” 

Friend 2: “How do I matter? Meaning how do I solve the problem by my so extremely personal example? I need to close this chapter quickly for my own benefit. …And what do you see? Arvind Kejriwal has become the Chief Minister in no other place than the capital of our country. But what happens? People are still brazenly paying and accepting bribes there. You need a news channel sting to bring it to the government. You see, like all bad elements in our blood such as cholesterol or creatinine ‘corruption’ too runs in the Indian veins.”

Friend 1: “If everybody thinks like you what changes can you expect in this god forsaken country! ...Anyway, tell me your real problem.” 

Friend 2: “Okay, I pay the speed money…bribe… for the job. Now I’d expect the job to be done quickly as assumed. But would they be loyal enough to do that? I mean if they just pocket the money and do nothing!” 

Friend 1: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Trust the corrupt? No my friend, you cannot even expect the minimal ‘honesty’ in corruption in this…whatever country! Well, if you include bribe-takers in the larger tribe of criminals, and rightly so, then criminals need to show some sort of ‘honesty’ too in their dealings or crimes. But no, but they don’t care…you must have seen in so many Bollywood movies how one member of a gang finally eliminates his/her ‘comrades’ or ‘partners’ or ‘inseparable friends’ to run away with the loot!” 

Friend 2: “Yes, that is why…I am unable to decide what to do…”

Friend 1: “But why should you join the ‘criminals’ by being a bribe-giver? Why at all? Say a loud NO to bribes and decide once and for all. …Wait for your job to be done in the normal course.”


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