My
mind raging I look around aimlessly. My wife is sitting quietly beside me
fiddling with her mobile phone, reclining against the hard back rest. Suddenly,
my mind concentrates on our present situation. How long we had been sitting
there? Did I doze off there for some time? If it happened like that did I dream
about all the recent happenings? But how could that be; because we do not
understand our present situation nor we know about our purpose of being there.
And then, if indeed I dreamed had I woken up now? There is no way I could be
sure of my wakefulness.
In
a bid to bring about my deemed wakefulness I start pinching myself hard and
harder, try shaking up my hands and legs; but nothing happens. Is this then an
out-of-the-body experience? If it is so, then where is my existential body? I
can still look at my physical self positioned there with my physical,
seemingly, wife by my side. However, as I just narrated I am unable to get my
body back to the deemed reality—by pinching, shaking up or lifting my body
parts. At a sudden thought I try to touch my mobile phone tucked in my pocket, and lo, I could still take it
out and look at it; but I cannot dial any number or don’t remember any number.
A scary thought creeps into my mind at that point of time.
Few
years back I read a thrilling supernatural novel where the protagonist tried
the out-of-the-body experience, and he succeeded in doing so. He was having a
great time moving around like a wavy tuft of air seeing and meeting all kinds
of characters without the earthly touch. All well so far for him as per the
novel; but when the protagonist had had enough and wanted to re-enter his body
he failed to do so. He was really getting desperate, looking for all kinds of
possible solutions. To my consternation I can no longer remember how he got
back into his body in the novel.
Am
I in a similar kind of situation? Sense of trepidation rising within me I try
to cough up an earthly conversation with unusually quiet wife—smiling at her,
cajoling and teasing her. A cold sweat seems to have accumulated all over my
body when my attempts miserably fail to elicit any response from her. I then try
to relax pushing myself against the hard marble back rest of the bench, and
surprisingly I can feel my back touching it. What the hell is happening with
me?
I
now decide to get into a mood of surrendering, absolutely; giving myself up to
whatever force is supposedly controlling me. Wait and watch; be vigilant and
alert to any possibility that may finally convert me into a reality, I start
thinking fervently.
Of
course, hope refuses to die down. This cannot be so utterly meaningless.
Something is bound to happen, for the good I suppose. Perhaps I am sleeping
physically somewhere and very soon I am going to wake up and find everything normal
and earthy. Perhaps not, and in that eventuality I am in for more adventures in
my so-called ethereal self, if at all. Again, I indulge myself in violent body
movements and shake-ups; but to no avail. I look at my wrist watch, but time
holds no value or meaning for me at that time. I look at my wife; she seems to
be in a daze. I think of God. Save our souls, oh Lord! I start the act of
surrendering to Him all over again.
Hope
trickles in once more. I try to inculcate it in a most positive way. I read a
lot of books on powers of positive thinking earlier, and many times succeeded
in visualizing situations that were definitely unknown to my conscious
knowledge. I start trying hard keeping up that spirit. I get up, take few steps
here and there, and again come back to the bench with my wife. There are lot of
people, maybe passengers, moving around in the area, but nobody seems to take
any notice of us, and I also feel no urge at all talking to any of them. Don’t
know why. Maybe something real is going to happen very soon...
(Concluded. ?)
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