I Know!


Devotedly following the universal principle that ‘when there’s a life there’s to be a death’ I think it’s my celestial duty to put up a sequel ‘I Know’ to my earlier banter-piece ‘I Don’t Know’, and accordingly I’ve done justice by writing this piece for you, however contrived or artificial or egoistic it may ultimately sound! Surely, it’s not going to hurt you at all; it may only give you some pleasurable thoughts as, in India, you all are celebrating Holi—the Festival of Colours today. Well, one of the most primary human expressions ‘I Know’ can be of two main types—(1) when the person who expresses ‘I Know’ is honestly and factually correct, and (2) when the person who vociferates ‘I Know’ is exceedingly egoistic and factually incorrect.

As with thousands of languages and dialects we humans of the planet earth are basically concerned about good communication the first variety is more common. We must remember that the expression ‘I Know’ almost always is a response to queries, statements, views, information, theories and the like, and the concerned person normally elaborates further on the response as to why it is so. The traditional head of the household who says ‘I Know’ is universally accepted, because we all feel that s/he with her/his enormous experience only wishes well for us and therefore would never respond thus to untruths; this logic also applies to respected elders, teachers, parents, close relatives, bosom friends and of the like; when the office boss or the supreme head says ‘I Know’ we’re left with no choice but to accept, because we’ve to follow the universal rule that ‘the boss is always right’ and that all such examples are applicable with ‘we’ too as we also often face the question ‘do you know’ from various categories of people to which we mostly respond honestly.

There could be two exceptions under this category: (1) when we either sympathize or empathize we may not be or need not be factually correct in the most ‘correct’ sense of the term, and (2) when the cleverest politician or the government responds that way it could very well be tricky as to the final result ensuing out of the response in comparison with your expectations.

In the second category everything is uncertain. Two factors work primarily here: (1) that the concerned person is egoistic, arrogant and condescending and (2) that the concerned person has a tall claim to omniscience and that s/he honestly believes in that. You must be on your guard in such cases: you must never ask them ‘do you know’ after recounting your problem and never ever ask for solutions or their views which they might think their right to necessarily elaborate following their response.  In many cases under this category, of course, the course of the questions and responses can very amusing, enjoyable and harmless.

I remember one persisting instance, among many, long back during the Indo-Pak war of 1971. In our neighbourhood only our family had the privilege of possessing a radio set. Therefore every day, fresh with the information collated from the live morning news bulletin, when I tell my closest friend next door about the latest happenings his stock response is always ‘I Know’! I always wondered, at times bitterly disappointed, as to how on earth was that possible for him sitting idle at home, but I never contested him thanks to our great friendship. However, I had my ways of countering on later occasions like, for example, one day: I ask him ‘do you know today is our parents’ marriage anniversary’, and wait earnestly for his response, greatly amused within, and the poor thing only smiles in apparent helplessness.

I wish you all a very Happy Holi—the Festival of Colours—, because, you see, I Know! I Know too that today your community spirit is a bit subdued, obviously due to the universally ‘known’ fact that COVID-19 Coronavirus is still rampant. Be safe and enjoy!

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