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Showing posts with the label Jokes

Mumbai Test: Masters Beaten In Their Own Game As England Crush India!

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Next Prescription? As agonizingly feared all over the nation England spin washed the masters India in the latter’s own courtyard Wankhede in Mumbai today winning the second cricket Test by 10 wickets with more than one and half days to spare. If yesterday Kevin Pietersen built on the lead in a one-day style the England openers today notched up the ridiculous target of 57 runs in T20 style. KP was rightfully selected the Player of the Match.  England’s two spinners Panesar and Swann shared 19 wickets between them while India’s three spinners managed to get only 9 wickets in a losing proposal. In India’s   agonizing second innings effort Gambhir top scored with 65 followed by a second highest of 11 by Ashwin. Indian skipper MS Dhoni’s demand for sharp turning pitches has boomeranged on him in the most telling manner making the remaining two Test matches acutely interesting in what the beleaguered captain might prescribe for next. He might very well have severe reprima

Political Disorder Of The Psychological Kind!

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Wife: You think you are the most righteous person of the world! Always wise, considerate and honest!... I think you are just dumb! Husband: What do you mean ‘dumb’? Wife: ‘Dumb’ means dumb. You can never spell it out loudly and clearly in times of need. People go on doing the wrong things on you and you think God will set it right. Husband: I beg your pardon! You never heard me talking bold or shouting? Wife: Oh…right! You can indeed shout like hell…but only at me! To the outside world you are just dumb. Husband: You mean to say I got my degrees, got my job and have been doing my office assignments efficiently enough…by just being dumb! Wife: That is why you’ve progressed only this far. If you were not dumb maybe you could have been the CEO! You know what Mr. X told about you…? Husband: Oh…shut it up! Any outside fellow saying something about me is bible for you! Husband happened to have a high-decibel brawl just down in the campus with a few residents an

Fish In Water!

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Man wanted to know about a crucial difference. Wanted to know for a long long time. So Man asked God, 'Oh Lord! Can you please tell me the difference between your love and my love?" God smiled and replied sweetly, "My dear Son! If you insist I must tell you! My love is fish in water and your love is fish in your plate!"                                                   (Courtesy: Based on a short text message from a friend!) 

The Jocular Interlude!

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Okay, irrespective of whether you are a salesman or anybody you must be aware of the fact that God and Doctors have something very important in common. You just cannot afford to displease either. If you are foolhardy enough to make God unhappy you are likely to land up with a doctor! And, if you happen to offend a doctor you are likely to end up with God! ***** A man dreams of having… 7 Figure Salary! 6 Figure Savings Deposit! 5 Bedroom Ownership Flat! 4 Wheeler Vehicle! 3 Weeks’ Holidays! 2 Lovely Children! 1 Dumb Wife!                                                                                                 Courtesy! Yazdi N Engineer .

Silence Of The Lamps!

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Just remembered one very old joke that was doing its rounds in our childhood days. Immensely liked it those times and never forgot it till today! So why not put it out here for all of you! Though many of you may already know it or might have disliked it and for many more it could be clichéd. But no harm done in view of the ever building tension and suspense for the India-Pakistan Asia Cup encounter this Super Sunday. Two drunks were having a heated debate under a street lamp quite late in the night. One said one thing and the other denied it vehemently. “See how beautiful the bright shining sun looks!” “Are you crazy buddy? This is the most beautiful blessed full moon I have ever witnessed!” ‘It’s indeed the sun!’ and ‘No, this is the moon!’ rent the still night air in the lonely street and the noise was getting louder all the time. At that moment a third drunk happened to pass by. The two debaters decided to take the third opinion to settle the issue. “Hey pal, just

Husband And Wife—The Law of Equality!

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At the start of the New Year a good friend of mine sent me a joke on the husband-wife syndrome. While talking about a certain ‘Law of Equality’ it says,” The time taken by a wife  when she says to her waiting husband ‘I’ll get ready in five minutes’ is exactly equal to the time taken by a husband when he tells his wife from office ‘I’ll call you back in five minutes!’” This reminds me of an old joke about couples where the law of equality seems to be maintained in some measure. “A couple quarreled bitterly and they were not on talking terms. It was night and the logjam continued. Now, the hubby had to go for an urgent appointment early in the morning and he did not believe in the alarm clock because he used to shut it up on the very first ring. He needed his wife’s help, but how? So he left a note by her pillow-side that said ‘Please wake me up at 7am’. He overslept and finally waking up found the clock striking 8. He jumped up and as he began cursing the institution of marria

Sideburns! More!

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***My grandmother had a thorough way of getting fully posted on any topic the answers to which she might have known already. She used to make sure she had all the details and the necessary action taken. For that she asked the same question at least three times though in varied forms of longer to shorter and to short.  Here is an example of what she used to ask me almost everyday. ‘Dearest, have you eaten your lunch?’ ‘Yes, grandma.’ ‘You have eaten?’ ‘Yes, grandma.’  ‘Eaten, no?’ ‘Yes, grandma!’ I took it as an expression of her tremendous love for me which was the case indeed. ***Greatly angered by inaction of one of his subordinates the boss one day stormed into the subordinate’s room and shouted, ‘Look Mr… My last warning to you! I want results! Don’t continue sitting on the files!’ And he stormed out. The dazed subordinate lifted the cushions of his seat moment the boss left and muttered, ‘What the hell…!’ Not a joke, mind you! ***Once in a project we were trying out y

Sardarji Jokes! Laugh At Yourself!

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In India ethnic stereotype jokes have been common. The most popular and widespread among them are the Sardarji jokes. Sardarji is the male stereotype of the Sikh community--a religious community known for its bravery, chivalry and extreme hard work over the centuries. Their state Punjab is one of the most prosperous in India.  There are many theories why jokes have been made at their expense; there have been many protests by the Sikh community on different occasions; but, it has been widely agreed upon that basically all these jokes are good nature humor and that many other ethnic stereotypes are also available for cutting jokes at in India including the south Indians, particular business communities  and particular professions. The most positive attribute of Sardarji jokes is that stalwarts like Khuswant Singh  and other Sikh personalities themselves wrote so many lucid  Sardar jokes. This proves the sterling quality of the Sikhs 'to laugh at themselves'. For proper under